Why You Should Start Forgiving Right Now

It’s been forever since the last time I posted a blog. I’m sorry about that. I guess I’ve been too busy to write about my life because I’ve been out there living it. I hope that doesn’t sound too cliché, but honestly I haven’t wanted to sit around and write out what’s been going on or what’s been on my mind because I’ve been spending time with the people I care about and doing things that really matter to me.

                So, on that note, I’m here writing now. I’ve had plenty of big thoughts this summer about love, life, and people. I’ve thought about what I wanted to write about a lot, but honestly I think the only thing I feel like I really have to say is about forgiveness. I want to forgive all the people I have felt wronged by, and I hope that I am worthy of being forgiven by those I have wronged in the past, as well as by God for wronging others.

                It can be hard {impossible, even} to forgive people who have done something awful to you. It can feel like the most horrible thing in the world, and having to actually tell someone who has screwed you over that you forgive what they did may be more difficult than just feeling forgiveness in your heart. I think it’s okay to forgive someone internally and not go out and tell them “you’re forgiven! I’m totally fine with you now!” because, honestly, that might just stir up more trouble. If you know in your heart that you forgive the people who have done you wrong, you will have a much lighter load on your shoulders. Your heart will feel free and light, and for the first time in ages, you won’t be thinking about their name with negativity. You won’t be thinking about them at all.

                In the crazy world we live in today, I think the two most widely accepted sins that we all are susceptible to are gluttony and envy. Who hasn’t indulged in a few extra cookies after they were already full, or decided to cram in the last bits of food, despite knowing that they ought to just take home leftovers for later?  And, even worse, who hasn’t felt a pang of jealousy upon seeing a former flame with somebody else, or annoyance that their friends all have the newest iPhone, when you’re stuck with your old flip phone?  But letting go of these feelings makes us better people.  Feeling jealous of others is such a nasty feeling. If we would all let go of our jealousy, and try our hardest to feel happy for the other people in the world {and that includes those who have wronged us in the past}, we can all live a healthier, happier life.

                I think the hardest forgiveness comes from romantic love.  If you loved someone with your whole heart and they wronged you, you’re going to feel betrayed, frustrated, broken somehow. And if they go out and find someone else {especially if it’s before you’ve recovered from having your feelings hurt by them}, you’re probably going to feel jealous.  And it can be almost impossible to stop feeling angry and start trying to feel happy for them. You might pretend to be happy for them, but I feel like most of us, deep down, are fighting back the urge to throw something at the person who took so much from you and now has ended up happier!  I know that I find myself susceptible to this way of thinking, or at least I have been in the past.

                Keep faith that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you’re not onto the next one because you aren’t ready yet. Maybe if you met the person you’re meant to be with right now, you’d be too fragile from your last relationship to make it work.  Or maybe the person you’re supposed to end up with is out there, trying their best to find their way to you, and you just have to start making an effort, too. I think that’s a trap we all fall into when we get hopeless: staying home, feeling lonely and pitying ourselves. But how are we ever going to start meeting new people and trying to start over again if we don’t go out and make an effort? You have to force yourself to get out of your comfort zone {or, in this case, your house} and at least give the real world a shot. Sure, it can knock you down and bruise you, but it can also be the most magical place imaginable. When you meet the person you should be with, all the jealousy and frustration about prior failed relationships melts away. You suddenly hope that everyone in the whole world is as happy as you are. And when you disagree with the person you love, you don’t feel like the whole relationship is doomed; you feel angry at them for a while, you have to give yourself some time and space to think and cool off, and then you’re ready to take them back with open arms and forgive and forget. Because that’s what true love means.

                When the time comes that you’re ready to start forgiving the people in your life who have done you wrong, you’re going to find that everything suddenly seems a lot easier. You’re going to let go of the negativity that has plagued you for so long. You’re going to feel like you finally don’t have to be mad anymore. You don’t have to waste valuable time and brain space on someone who really doesn’t deserve it. They get to disappear from your thoughts, and when you do occasionally think of them, it’s with no real emotion at all. They did something bad to you, but you’ve been strong and mature, and forgiven them. You’ve moved on so that you can have the life you deserve. You’re bigger and better than who you were when that stuff happened.

                Appreciate what you have. Don’t waste time obsessing over what you lost or what you think you should have.  And if you think you deserve more, go and get it. Don’t sit at home complaining about it. Go and make it happen. Make friends who make you happy, let go of ones who pull you down.  Love the people in your life for being who they are, for supporting you, and for making you smile.  And never, ever let life get you down for too long. Keep dreaming and keep moving forward, because being stagnant and letting yourself wallow is the worst thing you can do.

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