Why Texting Sucks

My generation texts. We don’t call. When someone calls and leaves a voicemail, my mind immediately races to the worst-case-scenario and I call back freaking out about whatever catastrophe has undoubtedly gone wrong before even listening to the voicemail to hear that my mom or best friend just wanted to catch up or let me know that Anthropologie was having a sale. Because, if my best friend wanted to tell me that, why not just text me?

But texting sucks. There’s no room for humor in it, and everyone sounds sort of dry and ridiculous talking in letters instead of words, or using little faces and animations to convey their thoughts. As much as I love reading and writing, sometimes there’s nothing like hearing a person’s voice.

There are absolutely perks to texting. You can now talk about the really hot guy in the room with your best friend {who’s also in the room} without him overhearing you or having any idea that you’re checking him out blatantly. And you can text your parents that you need money to get your oil changed without having to pick up the phone and awkwardly stammer around, feeling way too old to still be asking your mom for a check.

But, when applied to dating, I think texting kind of sucks. I mean, here you are, already putting your emotions on the line, feeling all these things for a person, and now you’re just taking all the romance out of it by taking the sweet things that go along with falling in love and putting them on a tiny little pixelated screen, instead of straight into your ears {and from there into your heart}.

Before this new texting thing became so prevalent, people used to actually have to pick up the phone and call someone to let them know that they wanted to go out on a date. Ladies, can you imagine that? Instead of the ambiguous “Hey, wanna hang out sometime this week?” you’d get a phone call from that cute guy, asking if you wanted to go out to dinner with you on Tuesday night. There was no room for ambiguity, because a guy wouldn’t want to sit on the phone with you awkwardly waiting for you to come up with an idea for a date and making you plan out which night and time worked best for you. Instead, if Tuesday night didn’t work, he would just keep suggesting nights until you both found one that was agreeable for everyone.

Can you imagine??? I feel like about 50% of the “date” texts women get today are more for the sake of asking for a hookup than for an actual date. Not to say women don’t do the same thing. Calling requires you to think. It requires you to put real words out into the air, and you’re not going to pick up the phone and dial someone’s number until you’re pretty sure that you know what you want to say. Texting, on the other hand, can be confusing.

Like, if calling someone to break up with them is bad, how bad is texting someone to break up with them???? This happens! Like, you’re not only too much of a wimp to break up with someone face to face, but you can’t even handle hearing their voice. Because all women naturally are going to break down to teary messes just because you don’t want to go out with them anymore? Yeah, okay.

Texting also sucks because people do it at the most inappropriate times imaginable. During dinner, during movies, during live performances, etc. I know there are people {idiots?} who go as far as talking on the phone at restaurants and in movies, but the vast majority of people would draw the line at pulling out their phone and being on a call while in a place where it would disturb other people. However, texting is viewed as fine in most of these situations {I will say that movie theatres have done a good job of trying to eliminate this problem}. But have you ever been out to eat with someone who is texting or just generally using their smartphone the whole time? It’s so rude!

I’m not saying texting wasn’t a good invention.  My boyfriend and I have perfected the “Stopping for food on the way home, want anything?” text, and having the other person’s order physically in front of you when you get to the drive-up window is valuable for forgetful people like myself. But for all of you lovebirds out there who want to ask someone out, my challenge to you is this: look a little overeager. Call the hot guy, or the pretty girl, whatever floats your boat. Ask them out. I don’t care where {chances are neither will they, they’ll just be flattered you went to the trouble to call them}.

Texting the minute after you end your first date is weird. Wait a day or two, then call and see if they wanna go out again. Or, if you’re not ready to go out again, but you don’t want them to think you’ve lost interest, text them the day after your date just to tell them what a great time you had. That’s the proper way to use texting. But drunkenly sending “You’re suchhhhh a good kisser” to the dude you met at a frat party when you were eighteen just isn’t what texting was invented for {or maybe it was, who knows?}. I feel like most people are too proud or scared or just something to pick up their phone and call someone to say that, but somehow saying it over a text {which is more permanent and generally more embarrassing, by the way} is seen as just fine.

More soon.

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